Inspiration

I took a break from writing this weekend. I hit a pretty big milestone on Friday (I like to say part one of my novel is finished), and before starting part two, I wanted to collect myself. Or maybe I'm just lazy...Either way right?

I find inspiration to write my novel from a variety of sources. Something I see on a movie, a game I'm playing, a book. I find though, some of my greatest come from listening to music. It's no secret I am a huge nerd. I adore listening to video game soundtracks. There are many cases where I hate the game, but love the music (*cough* Final Fantasy). I will find myself scouring the internet for new game soundtracks to listen too. AOL radio actually has a video game soundtrack station which is awesome (minus the pesky commercials). LastFM is great as well, but there a lot of remixes on there. Nothing wrong with them, but not usually what I prefer. I usually find myself on Grooveshark, which offers a plethora of choices, but only if you know what you are looking for.

One such particular song inspired me for Taeniel. Remember her? The RP character I created for Aion. I actually had a whole playlist created for her (and my novel, and any other characters I made). Anyway, here is the song for Taeniel: The Fate -- Shadow Hearts Soundtrack
She had many more, but that is the one stood out.

Lets continue with Taeniel's story, shall we? If only because I said so!



Taeniel stood at the edge of Cliona Lake. Besides her feet laid a fishing pole. Behind her she heard a Pink Beak squawk loudly, as if reminding her why she was there. She sighed and shifted her weight, scanning the road ahead. Where the hell was Kaiden? He was supposed to meet her an hour ago.

8 years had passed since that first day they met. For 8 years they had remained the best of friends. During that time, Taeniel had come to realize some things about Kaiden. He was impulsive and almost obsessed with becoming a mercenary like his dad. He always knew how to make her laugh and ate like a porgus. Out of all the things that made Kaiden, Kaiden, the one thing she couldn’t stand was that he was almost always late. It annoyed her to no end, and he knew that. But it never stopped happening.

Today though, today was the latest he’d ever been. Usually he would be five, ten minutes late tops. This made her wonder if something had happened. Had his father come home? Mr. Bancroft worked for a mercenary group in the outskirts of Poeta. He was rarely home, two or three times a year, tops. Taeniel had never met the man directly, but Kaiden talked about him constantly. Whenever he was home, Kaiden would disappear for that time, learning and spending all the time he could with the man. Not that Taeniel could blame him. She couldn’t imagine if her father were never home.

Taeniel exhaled sharply and shifted again. Maybe she should just start fishing without him. It was a beautiful day and she hated to waste anymore time. Suddenly, something caught her eye. Two people appeared at the top of the road. One of them was Kaiden and the other… Her face darkened. The other was a petite girl, laughing and holding onto Kaiden’s arm. As they got closer, Taeniel recognized her as Miriam something or other. She was new town, her family was from Sanctum. Apparently, her father was a city templar or something like that. He had military connections and Taeniel knew instantly that’s why Kaiden was hanging around with her.

Despite that though, she felt herself grow jealous. Kaiden knew Taeniel was not a fan of Miriams. The girl was a ditz. Always talking about herself, laughing at nothing. She dressed ridiculously, nothing like the people in Akarios did. Taeniel sized her up as she walked near. Much smaller, a thin frame. She had thick purple hair that she wore down, long and loose. She had pert features and wide blue eyes. She dressed in a short leather skirt and matching top, not something someone should attempt fishing in. As ridiculous as Miriam looked, Taeniel became self conscious. Her own thick black hair was pulled haphazardly back into a ponytail, she had on a stained button down shirt of her fathers, her pants had a hole in one knee that was luckily covered by her boot. The more and more she thought about the situation, the angrier she became. Just what the hell was Kaiden doing bringing this girl here? He knew that when they fished it was their time. They’d always gone fishing alone, for as long as they knew each other.

“Sorry we’re late.” He ran a hand through his blonde curls. “Had to buy Mimms here a rod.”

Taeniel arched a brow. “Mimms?”

Nicknames now? She internally rolled her eyes. They had known each other less than a month!

Kaiden must have caught onto her tone, because he shot her a quick dirty look. “You know Mimms, Taeniel. I invited her along.”

Miriam smiled sweetly. “Hi Taeniel! When I told Kia I’d never been fishing, he said I should come along and try it.”

But Taeniel ignored her, continuing to stare at Kaiden. “I know Miriam yes, but I don’t know a Mimms. I also don’t know a Kia.”

“Oh!” Miriam giggled and put her hand on Kaiden’s arm. “Those are just our nicknames we made up for each other. I don’t really like Mimms, but I think Kia sounds fun for him, don’t you?”

Taeniel folded her arms across her chest. “I don’t really like either of them.”

Before Miriam could respond. Kaiden stepped forward. “Well, I love them. Comeon, Mimms, I’ll show you how to string up your pole.”

She looked at him uncertainly, but nodded. As they walked past Taeniel to the shore, Kaiden shoved into her. “What the hell? Why did you bring an attitude today?”

She lowered her voice. “Why did you bring the idiot? You know I don’t like her, Kia. Since when did you two become best friends?”

Kaiden looked over to make sure Miriam hadn’t heard Taeniel’s remark, then grabbed her arm and pulled her close. “Listen, I know you loathe any other females, because they are too girly, or whatever. But her dad is someone really important, and it would be nice to get on his good side.”

“I don’t loathe other females.” Taeniel hissed. “I just don’t like the ones without a brain.”

As if on cue, Miriam cried out. “Oh no! My shoe got muddy! This place is filthy!”

Taeniel snorted. “My point exactly.”

“Hey.” Kaiden gave her a little shake. “Just pretend like you are my caring friend and don’t bite any heads off ok?”

Not waiting for a reply, he jogged over to Miriam, helping her pull her shoe from the mud. “You ok Mimms?”

Rolling her eyes, Taeniel walked a good distance away from them, setting up shop near a small rock. She cast her line into the water. If Kaiden or Miriam cared that she walked so far away, neither of them mentioned it. Convincing herself, she didn’t care, Taeniel tried to focus on the water, on relaxing like she always did when coming out here. Somehow she managed to do it, tuning out Miriam’s occasional high pitched squeals. Before she knew it, she was calmly watching the water, enjoying the cool breeze on her face, and the gentle wind that was blowing. It was almost perfect.

Suddenly, there was a tap on her shoulder. She glanced over her shoulder to see Kaiden and Miriam standing behind her.

“Yes?”

“I am going to walk Miriam home now.”

Taeniel felt the last of her peacefulness slip away. “Walk her home? It’s still early.”

“I have a dinner party to get ready for.” Miriam chimed in, smoothing her clothes. “I obviously can’t go dirty like this.”

“Do you not know your own way home either?” Taeniel asked sarcastically.

“I offered to walk her home.” Kaiden said.

“He might be going to the dinner party with me.” Miriam smiled.

A dark cloud settled over Taeniel’s head, she turned back around. “Yea ok, see you.”

As she heard them walk away, Kaiden not bothering to say more, she felt even more hurt. She had no rights to him like that, she knew it .She wasn’t even interested in him romantically, but he was her best friend, and he obviously had found something better. She sat there for a little while longer, but her heart was no longer into fishing. She just wanted to go home, and go to bed.

Before she could get up though, she heard footsteps. Kaiden sat down beside her, picked up his pole, and cast it off, not saying a word. Taeniel did the same, but knew she had to say something, it was eating her up inside.

“So, couldn’t make it to Mimms party huh? What? Didn’t have anything fancy enough for her liking?”

Kaiden shook his head. “You really hate her that much huh? You know, it if I didn’t know any better I’d say you were jealous.”

“She’s just ridiculous. Everything about her is. Her shoe got muddy, well duh! She’s standing in a lake!” Taeniel snorted. “What could you possibly see in her?”

“I told you what.” He shrugged.

“So to meet her dad, you made up a nickname for her and everything?” Another snort. “Kia…Should I start calling you that now too? Kia and Mimms.”

They fell silent. She stared ahead, embarrassed at herself for how nasty she knew she sounded. She couldn’t help it though. She had never felt so left out before.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a smirk cross Kaiden’s face.

“So that’s what bothering you huh? You want a nickname?”

She glared at him. “Don’t be stupid.”

“Do you want me to make one up for you? Would that put a smile on your pretty little face?” His smirk turned to a full fledged grin.

She focused ahead, refusing to give him the satisfaction of a smile. “Just drop it and fish ok?”

He tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Hmm… Let me see…A nickname for Taeniel…”

“Can’t you just shut your big mouth and leave it alone? I don’t want one of your stupid nicknames!”

“Well with an attitude like that, I say ‘Happy’ is perfect you. Do you like that one?”

She sighed, ignoring him.

“Sugar lips?”

“Kerub-Pop?”

Whack! She smacked him upside the head.

“Hey! Ow!” He protested, laughing. “Don’t ruin my creative process!”

“I said stop.” She was trying hard not to laugh.

There were a few more minutes of silence, then he snapped his fingers. “I got it! Theo. I’ll call you Theo!”

“Theo is a boy’s name.” She replied. But she had to admit, she was secretly pleased. Not only did she like the sound of the name, but he hadn’t given up on her. “It doesn’t even make sense.”

“Sure it does.” He explained. “Your heart is just as black and burned like the Scorchlands out in Theobomos, hence Theo.”

She ignored the insult, knowing him it was more of a compliment. “It’s still a boy’s name.”

He waved his hand dismissively. “Please, like you aren’t one of the guys.”

The more and more she thought about, the more she liked the name. Even if it meant Kaiden thought of her as one of the guys. She could never tell that to him though.

“My name is Taeniel, and that’s that.”

“You mean Theo.” He corrected automatically.

“How would you like another smack?”

He feigned hurt. “I give you a great name and you threaten to hit me? Some friend you are… Theo.”

“Oh, that’s it!”

With one heave, she sent him splashing into the lake. She burst out laughing as he sat in surprise, a tiny bit of mud dripping from his nose.

“Hey, no fair! You said you’d hit me, not push me in!”

Taeniel shrugged. “What can I say, you can’t stop genius when it comes to you.”

As she helped him out of the lake, he winked at her. “You do realize I’m still gonna call you Theo right?”

She laughed. “I figured as much. Now comeon, lets get you home before you start to stink.”

Playfully pushing him forward, she shook her a little, surprised. It was amazing how a day could start out so bad and end so well.

He really did keep on calling me Theo til the very end. It never really caught on with anyone else, but I don't think I wanted it too. I think that was probably the first day I realized just how much I cared about him... Our friendship. I'll never forget the day he died, the last time he called me Theo. The pain and shock in his eyes... I never wanted to be known as Theo again. It was a cruel and harsh reminder of what she... of what I had done.

Pace in Writing

Ask anybody who knows me in person and they will tell you have a problem with rushing. I rush everything: Shopping, eating, driving (that's right, get out of my way). I also tend to rush in my writing. Most would take that as I don't enjoy writing; I mean how could I if I'm rushing the story along?

But it's so not that. When I rush in my stories, it's because I see a particular scene in my head. One I am dying to get too. Now, I know I could always go and write the scene first, then go back to to the points leading to it. But I feel this ruins the organic process of creating in your story. I can't tell you how many times I've been writing up to a big scene, only to have it change drastically thanks to a small change in the build up (the build up I am rushing to move through).

There are also times when I feel I'm too sloooooow. I enjoy writing dialogue, especially when it's developing relationships between characters. I hate to admit it, but where my pacing was too fast before, it completely comes to a stand still here. Or at least rather, as I see it.

So where is the happy medium? Many writers will say, you have to juggle the slow and the fast and interweave them so the reader gets caught up in a whirlwind, but then also has time to rest. I agree 100%, but I find it hard to tell if I am creating the right type of harmony within my novel regarding this.

No real point or conclusion to this rambling, just my thoughts as I come up for air from writing.

Edit: Lacks did a real awesome follow-up post to this. Read it here: http://stevenlacks.blogspot.com/2011/09/re-pace-in-writing.html

Roleplaying in videogames

I always enjoyed a good RPG (roleplaying game) in video game format. I was (excuse me, AM) a huge snob on what I consider 'good,' but the love of the genre is there.

Although I was a late bloomer in terms of MMOs, I fell into them hard and fast. Aion was probably my loved and hated one. I'd always wanted to try to RP in a MMO, if only because I felt it added a ton more depth to the game for myself. Aion did not have the imposing lore background of Warcraft or Lord of the Rings Online, so I was quick to delve deep into the RPing world it offered.

I had many characters in Aion, but Taeniel was the one who took center stage. She developed past a your typical "this is my online facade" and into a real, fleshed out character. Below is the first piece I ever wrote for her. I had no idea what it would it end up exploding into.

((OH! Author's note: The story will read as if you know the lore of Aion. Which, uh, you most likely don't. Here is the quick and the dirty. The world of Ateria was split into two halves. The top half were the 'sun-kissed' elyos (hello faction one!). The other the 'fur backed' Asmodians, or Asmo (Faction two, nice to meet you). Taeniel was an Elyos.))

“But I don’t wanna!”

Seven year old Taeniel Lenneth crossed her arms and stared defiantly at her mother.

Mrs. Lenneth’s brow creased and she held up her hands in confusion. “I don’t understand. You’ve been complaining you have no one to play, now you do. Mrs. Bancroft said Kaiden is very excited to meet you!”

“I don’t care!” Taeniel pouted. She paused for a second, then tried a different tactic. “He’s a boy, I don’t like boys!”

Surely, her mother could understand that logic. But instead, Taeniel watched Mrs. Lenneth’s normally kind face grow sharp.

“Listen to me Taeniel Avalynn Lenneth. He is out there waiting for you, and you will go out there and play. Not only that but you will be nice! Do you understand me?”

Taeniel realized her battle was quickly becoming a lost cause. When her mother used her middle name, she meant business. Still, she couldn’t give in yet. Maybe if she waited just a little longer, her mother would finally understand.

“Young lady, I’m waiting!”

Taeniel’s arms dropped to her sides. She looked up gloomily. “Yes ma’am…”

“Good.” The storm cloud cleared from Mrs. Lenneth’s face. “Now scoot, he’s out there.”

Giving Taeniel a soft swat on her bottom, she ushered her outside. As the door closed behind her, Taeniel shot it one last dirty look, then sighed heavily and looked around. So where was this mysterious boy? Her front yard was empty… Had he actually gone home? She felt herself sadly disappointed much to her surprise…

“Pssst.”

She jumped at the sound. What was that?

“Psst! Hey! Girl!”

Her head snapped towards a row of bushes by the fence. Peering closely, she could just make out a small pair of feet. So, he was here. Great. Her scowl deepened.

“My name isn’t girl. It’s Taeniel.” She replied snootily. Why was he even whispering?

“Keep your voice down, sheesh! Just get in here, Taeniel. I have to show you something.”

Her curiosity getting the better of her, she sank to her knees and crawled into the shrubbery. She was greeted by a thin boy, just a tiny bit taller than herself. His dark brown eyes gazed at her with such open friendliness that she felt herself relax. She continued her staring at him, he had unruly blond hair that fell just about his eyebrows. At the corner of his mouth was an indefinable smudge, but Taeniel had a feeling it came from the candy wrapper next to his feet.

She was about to tell him to pick up his trash, when she noticed he was peering through a hole in their fence. “Whatcha looking for?”

He pointed a small finger. “Just look.”

She pressed her faced against the fence, looking through. She nothing out of the ordinary, just Mr. Mavith tending his crops next door.

“What am I looking for?”

“Is he gone?!” Kaiden’s asked in a panicked tone. He pushed her to the side, his face replacing hers. “He’s right there, are you blind?”

She shrugged. “That’s Mr. Mavith. He’s been our neighbor since I was a baby.”

“He’s an Asmo in disguise. I know it.” Kaiden’s eyes widen as he said the word ‘Asmo.’

“What’s that?”

“Bad people. Monsters. My father says they want to hurt us. They probably eat kids, I bet.”

A chill ran up her spine, could it be true? But, Mr. Mavith… She was doubtful.

“He’s our neighbor though.” She said again, but this time she wasn’t as sure. “He can’t be an Asmo, or whatever you call them.”

“Yeah, uh. He’s got fur on his back, and his one hand is twisty, just like a claw. Those are signs of an Asmo.” Kaiden said matter-of-factly.

Taeniel was the one pushing him out of the way now. She scrutinized Mr. Mavith, trying to see what Kaiden was talking about. She could just barely make out the curly gray hair that sprung out from the back of his shirt. And his one hand…She gasped. It was all twisty! It reminding her of a dead tree branch.

Falling back on her heels, a hand covered her mouth.

“I’ve got to tell my Papa!” She made a move for the house, but Kaiden grabbed her arm.

“You can’t dummy! Then the Asmo will know we know and bring all the other monsters here! Don’t be stupid! We have no one to protect us!”

Her face burned fiercely at the insult and she tugged her arm out of his grasp.

“My Papa would protect me, but not you! I’d tell him to let them eat you up, you’re the dummy!”

She ran from the bushes, trying not to cry. She was stupid. Stupid for not knowing an Asmo lived next door and stupid for thinking Kaiden might be a real friend.

Sniffling, she sat down on a stone and rested her head in her hands. She couldn’t go back inside, her mother would get mad. She was stuck out here.

A few minutes passed and she felt a light tap on her back. From the shadow that fell over her, she knew it was Kaiden. She wiped her nose with the back of her hand.

“Go away, I hate you.”

He didn’t leave though, instead sat down next to her. Silently, he began plucking blades of grass from the ground. Taeniel felt her anger grow.

“What do you want Kaiden? To make fun of me for crying now?”

“I’msorryIsaidyouwereadummy.”

“What?” She finally looked at him. She had absolutely no clue what he said, he’d spoke so fast.

He sighed and spoke slower this time. “I said: ‘I’m sorry I said you were a dummy.’”

She shrugged. “I still hate you.”

“Aww…Comeon!” He poked her side. “Who’s gonna help me keep tabs on the Asmo? I was gonna start a club and you were gonna be my second in command.”

She sniffled. “A club? Really?”

He nodded eagerly. “Yea! We will make sure no one else is an Asmo, and spy on all those who are. You know- make sure they aren’t up to being fishy. It will be great!”

“Maybe my papa will let us use the loft in the barn as a meeting house.”

“Yea!” He grinned at her, and she finally smiled back at him. A real genuine smile.

They chattered on, making grandiose plans, and only stopped when Mrs. Bancroft finally came to drag her son home…

Mr. Mavith was not an Asmodian. My mother later told he had been injured his hand as a child, and that’s why it was misfigured. As for his ‘mane’…Well, apparently Mr. Mavith was just a really hairy man. It’s funny thinking back on that day. How much I wanted to hate Kaiden and yet how quickly I grew to like him. I wonder…If I had known then, what would happen now, would I do it all over again?

-T. Lenneth

I am really bad at these things...

My blogging history is a spectacular failure. I've started a few --all under the premise that my words would ring true in the eyes of everyone. That hundreds, no thousands, would flock to my page and soak up my every word as if they were the teachings of Christ himself.

They, as you can imagine, fell extremely flat, and thus I lost interest, letting them die a silent death in cyberspace.

Now here I am again.

Oh boy.

I certainly am keeping my hopes a bit more realistic for this one. My problem with these blogs, is that in the end, I have absolutely no clue what to write on. My previous attempts were a video game review blog (I did one game), and journal consisting of my incessant complaining about coworkers. I can't imagine why nobody was interested!

Regardless, I started a new one, not because I am a masochist, but because I figured it would be a good start for my novel I am writing. Don't ask why, it makes sense to me.

I wish I could give a solid list of things to expect, and perhaps in time that will come. For now, though, one can expect some mindless chatter, frustrations about the writing process, and the occasional posts of short fiction. Which I think I'll get to doing right now...